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Nov 09Undercover Interview- I’m a Stripper
I’ve had this Undercover Interview on ice for a while…I’ve just been lazy transcribing it. Enjoy!
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What do you do?
I take my clothes off for money.
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What’s the preferred term to describe what you do?
I don’t have one. When people ask me what I do for a living, I say, “I shake it for money.” I don’t care. I don’t like “titty dancer.”
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OK. So what led you to do that?
I was at a girlfriend’s house who had been a dancer before, and it was a Friday night, nothing going on in town. I was like, “What are you doing?” She’s like, “Come over now. Let’s watch movies and drink wine.” We were drinking wine and watching bad movies, and she was like, “Yeah, I’m just going to go to (Strip club name withheld) and pay off my credit card bills, whatever,” and she has a nine-to-five. I was just drunk enough to be like, “I don’t have a lot of cash. Do you think I could do that?”
She was like, “Well, are you sure you want to do that? I got one of my other friends into it, and she totally changed. She got boobs. She went blonde, got the extensions and the nails, tans, and I would hate for you to change yourself.” I was like, “Well, I’m pretty all right with who I am. I’ve never wanted to be blonde, and I’ve got big enough boobs as it is.” So that’s kind of how it started, and a couple days later we had more wine and she dressed me up and it’s the first time I dressed up as Roxie.
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Describe your first night. Were you nervous?
Oh, it was nervous and exciting and being like, “Are people going to want to see me take my clothes off?” because that’s nervous. Like, OK, what do I… the whole point is to get people to think you’re hot and take your clothes off so they want to shove twenties down your pants. That’s what you want to have happen. That’s the goal. So I was really concerned about that. The girl who got me into this is actually probably the best dancer that I’ve seen. She’s amazing. There’s a lot that you just can’t learn, you just have it, and she’s got it…you know, manipulative type of things, so it’s kind of a little nervous.
But anyway, so on the way up she was just schooling me on what she thought I should know, how to act, what to say, what not to say. Like don’t talk about negative things, go slow, just whatever you’re doing just slow down and try to look like you’re having fun. Most of the time I am, but, you know, keep a smile on your face.
So the first night she gets me all dressed up and she lies to the club. She used to fool around with the manager, so I didn’t have to audition and that’s pretty rare. I’m the only person I know of that started on a Friday night without an audition.
I wore this black dress that looks great on me, but I didn’t think about getting it off, and it totally got stuck and there’s a couple people sitting at my rack.
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And when you say “rack?”
Oh, where the guys sit, that’s the rack. Like, you put the money on the rack.
So…the girl, who goes by Victoria at work, is sitting there with her feet up on the rack and just smiling, just like “slow down, just slow down, you’re going to be fine.”
Yeah, so the dress totally got stuck, and my panties got stuck on my heels and I was just laughing at the absurdity of all of this. Like, “oh, my God, am I really doing this right now? Is this really what’s happening? Did I really just do that for four dollars?”
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And how long have you been doing it since then?
About six months.
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So you have another job?
I have another job.
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What’s that other job?
I teach kindergarten. When I moved to (Location Withheld), my teaching credential was issued in December, and once it was issued, work was very, very slow. I was getting called maybe once every two weeks at the beginning of the school year, because no one takes days off during that time.
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So do you work at night and then go to school the next morning?
No, I go to (Location Withheld) on the weekends only.
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So do you drink every night when you’re dancing?
Yes.
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How come?
I find I’m a lot more sociable when I’ve been drinking. I don’t ever get drunk. I’ve never been sloppy there, because that’s just not cool. But you’re sitting around and you’re just in a bar really. I’m talking to people that I don’t know, that are friendly enough, that are nice enough. And there’s like the naked aspect to it, but for the most part it’s just sitting around getting to know people, chitchatting. I’m there for companionship is really what it boils down to. So the drinking…you’re at a bar, you have a cocktail.
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What about like drugs?
I’ve never seen it, I’ve smelled drugs. There was an incident a couple months back with a girl who was smoking heroin in the bathroom, and she was promptly searched and fired. I’ve never seen drugs. I know a lot of people smoke a lot of pot that work there, big deal, but I’ve never seen any drugs. Not to say that I don’t think that there’s some chicks who are fucked up, but I’ve never seen it.
And I understand it’s a lot more at other clubs. One of the bouncers at the club is super-cool. He’s a really cool, sweet guy, and he was saying how at other clubs, they’ve had to put Vaseline on the back of the toilet seats, and how you can walk by and hear girls like, “Fuck, fuck!” while their pile of cocaine’s disappearing in the vaseline.
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Would you let your boyfriend go to strip clubs?
No.
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Really?
I think it’s totally lame.
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I thought you were going to say, “Yeah, no big deal.”
No way.
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How come?
The guys that are there, what are you doing there? You’re there for companionship? You’re there to have some girl drive you out of your mind and just sit there and lap it up. What the fuck is that?
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That’s interesting you say that, because it’s your job.
Someone’s got to do it, it might as well be me.
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OK. So you see it from both peoples’ ends. Like you’re willing to do a job, but on the other end, it almost seems like you don’t respect the people who come in.
I don’t understand it…last night a married guy came in for his brother’s bachelor party and spent close to $200 on me and just sat there. He wanted to talk to me…he was a nice enough guy.
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You were telling about traveling for work. You were going to go to Alaska?
I thought about it. The fishermen – King Salmon season ends on July 15th. I looked into it.
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So, this is something that’s in your calendar?
It was in my calendar. They actually denied me. They said I did not meet their criteria. So, that’s pretty astounding. That’s terribly embarrassing.
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The strip club out there?
Yeah, which doesn’t make any sense. I have my theories. My age might be part of it and when I was writing my little essay about myself, I was pretty clever and I was thinking, “Maybe I should dumb this down,” when I was writing it and I didn’t.
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Wait. Hold up. You had to write an essay?
I had to write a little blurb about myself.
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You had to write an essay to get a job at a strip club?
Uh-huh.
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That is insane.
Yeah, totally. My pictures were great. It was ridiculous. And the girls that are on there…they’re day girls at best where I work. Basically, the fishermen have been on their boats the whole season. They just got their 10 or 15% of the take. They have 10, 15, $20,000 cash on them. Why not go get it?
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Do a lot of other girls travel from all over to go to Alaska?
I think the smart ones do. I’m not doing this because it’s my life calling. I’m doing this because I’m an out of work teacher and I might as well do this. Really, there’s no jobs in (Location Withheld), and I hate waiting tables.
Would you rather that I sit around and pump gas for I don’t even think $10 an hour, or use my head and make – I made $700 last night.
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Do you think there’s something that predisposes you do being a dancer, because I don’t think everybody could be so calm about it.
No. I was scared.
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I know a lot of girls who would pump gas or would wait tables over dancing.
I’ve waited tables. It makes me miserable. It makes me hateful and awful.
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I think there’s got to be something inside of you that allows you to be cool with this because it’s a weird industry for sure.
It’s a weird industry. I think that the way you handle yourself in the club has a lot to do with it. I’m not ashamed.
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So, working in a strip club you see men at their worst. You see guys in almost like a no holds barred zone where there’s no other women. They’re acting exactly like they want to. You see bachelor parties with drunk dudes.
Oh, yeah.
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Do you respect men or does that change your thought on men?
No, it hasn’t.
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No, it hasn’t?
Mm-mm, because the people that are conducting themselves as assholes, I’d pick up as an asshole anyways.
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So, you can separate inside the club and outside the club?
I really don’t think there’s a difference. I think people act the way they act and that’s who they are. I don’t think that there’s – I see what you’re saying, letting go a little bit more.
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But, what about a married man who comes in there and wants to take it too far? He’s acting one way outside the club and one way inside the club.
I don’t think he reserves that behavior to just the club.
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Right. But, his wife probably doesn’t know that’s happening.
I don’t know about that.
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Do you get weird offers from guys? Or, the guys, “I’ll give you more money and you can do something else?”
Oh, yeah. “Have lunch with me,” then I was like, “OK. Well, champagne room…” I’ve never done it. But, a friend of mine calls it “light hooking.”
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Calls it what?
“Light hooking.” Where someone wants to meet you for lunch, or whatever, just as friends…coffee. Not friends because you’re a stripper. It’s obvious what they’re trying to do… anyways, it’s the companionship taken to another level and a lot of girls do it and I probably would do it. It just hasn’t come up yet. “Yeah, I’ll go have lunch with you. But, that’s all I’m going to have with you and this how much it’s going to cost.” That would be minimum $500 an hour because that’s how much a champagne room is.
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On an average night how much do you make? Because the reason I ask about that is I see on the Jerry Springer show, and they’ll be like, “I make $5,000 a night.”
She’s fucking lying.
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OK. Because I always thought… there’s no way they could make that much.
There’s no way, unless she’s doing a lot more than that. Yeah, I don’t believe it.
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So on an average night what can a stripper take home?
I’m pretty middle of the road, I think. You know, it’s very quiet how much money girls are making, but you can look around the room and see what people are doing and know how much they’re making. Because if that girl’s in the dance room, and that girl’s sitting by the bar drinking by herself, you know who’s making money and who’s not. If I don’t make $200, and that’s only happened once, and I was in a pretty pissy mood so that would be why. I just didn’t want to be there that night. I forget what I wanted to be doing, but wasn’t in a great mood. Or Sunday, that’s different. Sundays, that’s different. But anywhere from $300 to $500 a night.
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OK.
But there’s no stress. That’s just an easy night.
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I mean, you are working. I mean, if you’re making that much money you’re on your, hate to say it, but you’re on your knees.
You should see the knees. They’re nice and bruised, and the top of your feet from the poles.
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What is the least amount you’ve made?
I think $180.
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What’s the most you’ve made in one night?
$800. I’m not a good dancer, like I’m not the prettiest girl there. I’m the fat stripper…seriously. There’s two girls who are just bigger girls, one is Hawaiian, you know, so she’s a bigger build, but I’m like the softest body one for sure. I’m not flexible, I can’t do sweet pole tricks. I don’t make my money by being a dancer. I make my money by what my friend calls the “voodoo mind fuck.” People like me, because I’m not a stripper. That’s who likes me. They like me because, like, ‘What are you doing here? You look like you’re supposed to be a kindergarten teacher.” I was like, “Well, actually, you’re right.” But the blonde girls with the fake boobs and the tans, they’re probably making similar to what I do. Then having regulars is where you make your money.
People who come in continually to see you, and you just know that they’re going to be there and to rely on that income. But I would say $300 to $700, $700 being the high end of good.
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So, tell me what life is like as a stripper. You work totally opposite hours than everybody else. What are the other girls like?
I don’t have a lot to do with the girls that I work with, and that’s kind of on purpose. I have definitely set myself apart from them. But, it doesn’t seem like the other girls do a lot. Seems like they just go tan and go shopping, but I don’t know that for sure. Some of them are in school, some of them have other jobs, but most of them don’t. There’s one girl who’s going to school to be a dentist. One girl already has one degree and she’s going for her second bachelor’s. But, most of them, this is what they do.
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Sounds like you got a few smart girls on the roster.
Some of them, yep, but some of them are just fucking dumb as rocks.
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What are some of the tricks of the trade in the profession?
I saw one girl have this crazy-ass spackle that supposedly smoothed out stretch marks, that tightened your skin. I mean, it was a day girl; the difference between day girls and night girls are…
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So, what is the difference between day girls and night girls?
The A team and the B team, for sure. The day girls are usually moms. Some of the night girls are, but they don’t look like they’ve had kids. The day girls seem to be a little bit harder on their luck. A lot of them are always scrambling for rides. The day girls look a little haggard.
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Wow, sounds depressing.
It is. When you think of a sad strip club, I think of the day girls.
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Is there animosity between the day girls and the night girls?
Oh yeah. The day girls hate the night girls; it’s hilarious.
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What was the most money you ever got from one single guy?
His name is (Name Withheld)…he was there with his friend and he actually just came in and saw me. I was like you know what we should do, we should just go ahead and split a bottle of champagne thinking we were going to do champagne room. He orders a bottle of Dom and I’m sitting there drinking, you know, there it’s a very expensive bottle of champagne, well it is anywhere but especially there. And listening to Van Halen, and it was just like, “What? How am I drinking Dom and listening to Van Halen right now?” This is just totally ridiculous.
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It sounds like there’s some nights you live like a rock star.
Sometimes.
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And other nights like maybe are the total opposite?
No, I get taken care of…I’ve never bought a drink there before.
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I would hope so…
No, never, it’s kind of a matter of pride.
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What are your typical customers like?
I have a regular who’s a young kid from Saudi Arabia. At first I felt bad about the money he was spending on me because he was buying…one night I think he bought like 15 dances from me and all the liquor I could handle and would’ve kept giving it to me but I stopped.
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So that’s like one of your typical guys.
There’s one dude, it’s so funny because he comes in to see me and I don’t know what his name is. But it’s probably John because that’s what all their names are. He’s, I forget what he really does, but he’s also an umpire and he wants to have a relationship with me. Like he really wants to date me and he’s married. And I’m like “Dude, I don’t do that…I don’t do married guys.” I’m not that girl.
I wouldn’t say it’s any one type of person. A lot of them are dads and a lot of them aren’t. It seems like most of them are divorced.
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Do you get a lot of talkers, guys that don’t want to see you strip, that just want to talk to you?
Occasionally.
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Does that bug you?
No, it’s totally fine to have someone sit there and put 20′s under my glass. It’s frickin’ great. I’d so much rather do that. It’s just a pain in the ass to take your panties off and on.
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Any guys that try and talk you out of your profession, or ask you why you’re doing it?
Oh, they all ask me. Everybody wants to know “how you got into this,” or “how long you’ve been doing this,” “what else do you do?” They all want to know.
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All right, how would you react if you found out that your son’s teacher was a stripper?
I really don’t think that what somebody does in their personal time affects their teaching.
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You don’t see any issue with it?
I have more of a problem with teachers who are super religious teaching my kid, than someone who’s open about their sexuality.
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I think I’m pretty opened minded, but if I found that out it wouldn’t immediately be like, “oh…cool.”
No, no, I’m sure it would be a shocker.
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It wouldn’t be like “oh he’s also a basketball coach,” cool. “Oh she’s also a stripper.” Maybe a red flag goes up…
Well yeah, for sure. I’m never going to be able to not be a stripper. I will always be a stripper, I’ve taken my clothes off for money, and that’s never ever going to go away and I will not know the ramifications of this for a really long time. I would hope that somebody would know, for me that I’ve put a lot of thought into this. I got into this when I was 27, not as an 18 year old with no experience. I thought about it long hard, like this wasn’t an easy decision.
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How long do you think you’ll continue doing this?
If you had asked me that Friday, I probably would’ve said never again. Friday was a personal low for sure, for me. I was giving a private dance to a bachelor…we’re up in the backroom, his friend pays me to give him a dance. He had gone to my rack but I wouldn’t have gone to his table. They looked like they would be the, big truck gun shooting type of guys. That’s not who I hang out with, ever, really.
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Inside or outside?
Inside and outside. But they wanted me to go over there, and they wanted me to do this. So he gave me the money to go give his friend a dance. His friend is enjoying himself so I ask, “should I continue?” He was like, “yeah.” While I’m doing this he’s looking down and I can see he’s starting to pass out. I’m kind of embarrassed to say that I was like, “maybe I can get a lot of money out of this guy.” Like that’s embarrassing horrible, horrible thing to say but that’s why I’m there.
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Yep.
That’s why I’m there. Anyways he looks down and he starts puking. Fantastic I’m naked and there’s some dude puking on my legs. He’s not only puking on me, but he puked on a dress that I made. These clothes are expensive, you know, and this is a dress that I made. I’m laughing thinking it’s going to be fine. I’m thinking, “sweet I can get a new dress”. His friends were basically like “sorry.” I was like “no, seriously your friend just puked on $60 dress and a $20 pair of panties.” They were like, “we don’t have the money, we’re broke.”
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Isn’t that what the bouncers for, to like fix that problem?
Yeah, you would think, but they didn’t have any money and that was it. So anyways I go into the back and I’m pissed and when I’m pissed I cry. Some of the other girls were like, “this has happened to me before.” One of them was like, “well you know, if you’re a stripper in your career, you’re going to get puked on.” I was just like, “fuck you, I have a career.” It was the first time I felt bad about it.
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Would you ever do porn?
One thing that has been brought up is how many people have seen me naked now. Thousands of people have seen me naked, and I don’t even know what they look like. You know, I have no idea who you are, but you’ve seen my butthole. Fantastic. Fantastic.
November 15th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Where did you get your blog layout from? I’d like to get one like it for my blog.
November 15th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
[...] Read the original here: Undercover Interview- I’m a Stripper [...]
November 20th, 2009 at 8:04 am
Very interesting read ha!