Undercover Interview- I Worked at a Swingers Club15

I can honestly say that I’ve never been to a swingers club, but I’d be lying if I didn’t wonder what goes on behind those very closed doors.  Confidentiality and anonymity are of the utmost importance to these clubs, so that’s what makes this Undercover Interview that much more special.

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Undercover Interview- I worked at a Swingers Club Part 1

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So what was your job?

I was a hostess at a swinger’s club. I got the job with my best friend. She and I would go around and make sure that everyone was comfortable and everyone was talking to each other and everyone was getting what they wanted out of the experience.  When people come in they’re nervous and don’t talk to anyone…then they end up coming off as creepy. If you can get them comfortable, relaxed, and talking, then they’re good to go.

It also entailed us cleaning up after the rooms. Making sure there were fresh linens. We didn’t do that a lot. We left that to the volunteers because there were volunteers who came in to help out in exchange for entrance.

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What is a swinger’s club?

Its a place where people can go, either single or in couples, and have casual sex. Or they might want to just have sex together in a place where they’re being watched. Some of the customers have regular couples that they meet at the club and swing with. But, by and large, it’s couples coming in and meeting people that they don’t know and then splitting off and having sex. There’s private rooms and semi-private rooms, group rooms, hot tubs, porn theater, things like that.

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How does the whole system work?

You walk in. There’s a membership. So, if it’s your first time, you pay the membership and then the visiting fee.

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How much is that?

For a single man, its $150 for the membership fee and then $100 every time you went. For a couple it was $125 and then $75 for each visit. For single women, it was much less. The idea being that the single women are the people who make the club, and a man with a woman is a lot more desirable to have in the club than a single man. And you’re much less likely to get trouble from a guy that came in with a woman. And your membership is non-transferable. So if you come in with a different woman the next time, you’re a single man or you have to repay the membership with that person.

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Lots of rules.

Yeah, lots of rules. Twice a month on Thursdays they had gang bang night, which was now been changed to something that sounds more friendly like “Ladies’ Night” or something like that. [laughs]  On Fridays they had an “everyone is welcome” kind of thing where they had a cap on the amount of single men that could come in.  Saturday nights were more geared towards couples. Single women were still welcome, single men, not so much. I think there was a cap of 10 on single men in a night like that.

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So what’s it like inside the club?

When you walk in, there’s an entrance lobby area with a huge rack of towels, and then also some fake plants. It kind of looks like a creepy hotel lobby. You come in, and you might see some scantily clad people about, kind of cavorting. But they try to keep that out of the front room so that in case a minor makes it in, they don’t see anything. So you pay your fee. And you will be well advised to take a towel because you want to lay it down if you’re ever going to sit naked or if you want to use the hot tubs. And when you go straight through, you see a bay of lockers and a big hot tub. And on your right, there’s showers and there’s stairs upstairs. Then there’s a glory hole room.

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OK.

[laughs] Then you go a little bit further in. You’re in the buffet room. And there’s also a sex swing cage in the buffet room.

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A buffet for food?

Right. Buffet for food.

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I thought maybe that was slang for something.

No! [laughs] That would make sense. But, no, there’s like a taco buffet or a meatball buffet. It just makes people more comfortable.

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Was the food good?

It was, surprisingly! At first, it took me a while to want to try to eat it. But then I got a little more comfortable and I was like, “All right. Yeah, cool. There’s food at work.” [laughs] So if you take a U-turn through the buffet room, there’s private rooms. Those all have a special feature like a big fake plant or a fish tank or something.  They all have a bed, a huge bowl of condoms, hand sanitizer, and towels. And they also have windows and curtains that open. If the windows and curtains are closed, that’s like don’t mess with it. Those people don’t want to be disturbed.

Then there’s the smaller group rooms which has a bigger bed and windows into this sort of massage/porn area that has a massage table. And if you go through there, there’s a dance floor with stripper poles and mirrored walls.

Upstairs there’s a bunch more private rooms.  All in all, I’d say there’s about 15 private rooms.

Also upstairs is a big porn area where there’s a huge screen of porn, and this dental style chair…it’s kind of like a cross between a dentist’s chair and a gyno chair…there are stirrups. It lays back and it can raise and lower. So you can basically have people line up and then orally pleasure you. So that’s going on in the big porn room and people all sit around.  That’s a good place where people can go if they don’t want to talk to anyone but they still want to hook up and see who’s around.  If you go through there, there’s the huge group room which has a bed that’s the size of two king mattresses. On gang bang nights that’s where most of the action is. You might see 10 people on that bed all at once.

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So you’re saying that there are certain nights. Is there anybody that wasn’t allowed in?

Well, obviously, you have to be 18.

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Like by looks or by weight or something?

No, not by looks or weight. But if you looked really nasty or dirty, you wouldn’t be allowed in. They wanted people to take pride in how they looked. But also anyone of any size could go in. There are a lot of people there who got really into the BBW kind of thing: big beautiful women.

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Do you that think swinging is good for marriage?

I think for the minority of people who came in, it was an excellent thing. They were super comfortable with each other. They’d been married a long time. It was just a thing they did once a month or so, just to spice things up, and I think it totally worked for them. But I think a lot of people went in there because the man had been saying for a long time, “Hey, I want a threesome. Hey, I want a threesome. Hey, I want a threesome,” and then the woman is finally like, “All right. We’ll go.” They go, the man has a great time, and the woman has a terrible time.  I am not optimistic about that marriage’s chances.

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So you saw that happen quite a bit?

Oh, yeah. In some cases it was the woman who wanted to go, but most of the time it was the guy. Then there were other times where I think that probably the partnership aspect was working fine, like they’ll probably stay together for a long time, but they weren’t sexually interested in each other. They’d go together, and then they’d split off and have sex with a bunch of different people. They didn’t seem that into each other. They seemed like friends, but they were married.

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Were there any jealousy-related happenings where a woman ran in and found her husband?

I definitely saw some guys who brought their wives to gang bang nights who hadn’t quite realized how it would be. The wife was into it, and the guy was like, “Whoa, I hadn’t realized my wife would want to have sex with seven people crowded around her. She really likes this. This is freaking me out. I don’t know who she is anymore”.

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Did you ever see anybody you knew who went into the club?

There were several people who worked at the clothing store that I go to all the time. I’d be like, “Oh my God, it’s that person whose name I don’t know but I see every week!” You’d see random people you knew from around town.  I like to say this. If you walked into the (Name Withheld) mall and you took the first 100 people that walked through the door, you’d probably have a pretty representative sample of the people who would go to a swingers club. It’s just average people. If you want to swing, and you have your choice of people, honestly, most of the time those people go to a regular nightclub.

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Got any funny stories?

Most of the hilarious stories happen on gang bang nights.

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Obviously.

The main thing that the hostesses did for gang bang nights was to go around and make sure that the women were getting everything that they wanted and ask them, “Why did you come here?” Women would say, “Oh, I really want to be doubly penetrated by a black guy and a Hispanic guy. So can you go find me a black and Hispanic guy?”

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This was your job?

Yes.

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So you’d say, “Oh, excuse me, black dude. Can you come into this room. There’s a girl who wants to have a gang bang with you.”

Right.

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What did that guy say to you?

Generally, yes. He’d say, “Oh, great. All right, I’m there.” Some people have qualms about the double penetration because of the ball-to-ball touching.  So that was basically the job on gang bang nights. Sometimes you’d have people come in, and a woman would say, “I want to have a bukakke.” So you’d round up guys, and there’d be a bukakke. It’s actually a lot harder to pull off than it’s made to seem in porns, because you want to get everyone coming around the same time so that there is a big explosion of cum, and that’s tricky.

But the best one was a woman brought in her own goggles for it, because you don’t want to get it in your eyes, having all this cum shooting at you. So she brought her own goggles and put them on for the bukakke, and I thought, “That’s so excellent. You came prepared.”

Ron Jeremy came for a visit, and my boss said, “Hey, what do you want to do today? I have some girls who work here who will bring you around and show you the town.”

He said, “I want to go to the zoo.” We brought him out to the zoo, and all these women who were moms with their three-year-olds were ripping down their shirts and having him sign their tits. It was bizarre.

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Part 2 coming soon

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